When Everything Fails: Pray


Between a rock and a conundrum.

Sometimes life hands up a basket of flowers and sometimes when you try to pick one out your hand gets bloodied. A conundrum is a complicated problem which often  involves a riddle that may or may not have a solution. Normally I’m an unstoppable force. I have an interminable will. I get things done. Nothing can stop me. So?

What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?

Bam! Your emotions explode. You are trapped in a situation, metaphorically as if being between a rock and a hard place .This is kind of personal. Last night, I lay in bed thinking terrible thoughts and wondering where these emotions were located. The feeling was like a field around me. I couldn’t place where I felt so bad. Was it in my heart, or head or in my body somewhere? I finally came to this epiphany that my emotions were waking up. But what an awful feeling.

Awful means full of awe.

I’m very religious but I don’t go to church or to mosque. The sky is my temple and water is my sacrament. We owe our existence to the sun. The earth is our mother. God is everywhere. Yet, I’ll tell you, the trap is always found in filthy lucre: Money. The emotions and the ego are partners in this crime. They create the puzzle, the conundrum, the rock and the hard place. Go to court? Sue or not to sue? I called up my lawyer friend, a nice girl, Sosueme. She’s of Japanese decent. She has a girl friend, Adriadne.

Theseus used Ariadne’s Thread

She gave a bunch of string to unravel, but I was so distraught last night, I couldn’t get over the bull I was putting myself through to discover how to get out of the maze. Did you know in court a lawyer addresses the judge as his God. His plea is “I pray, your honor that ‘blah blah.” Well, last night it occurred to me the only way to be filled is to have a vacant mind. This can be achieved in meditation or prayer. This time I chose prayer. I woke up feeling better.

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art of Ray Saucedo spaceman

conundrum

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